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I'M THE FACE IN YOUR DREAMS OF GLASS
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in rancidfan123's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
5:30 pm
Carnies
Work really sucked...but after that, I met up with KC, Abby, Paul, Timmy, & Steven. We hung out around downtown Franktown. Everything was pretty much closed so we went to the carnival to check it out. Something funny happened there... Because I parked my car all the way back at Starbux and Steven parked his right by the carnival, I went with him so he could gimme a ride back to my car. Anyway, he parked his car in the street right directly behind this little game stand or w/e at the carnival so we planned on just walking by or cutting around to get to his car cuz there wasn't a fence or anything. So there's this skinny, sleazy looking old dude who works the stand and he was hitting on these 2 girls our age and I overheard him saying like "Go ahead take another shot it's on me." and it was just kinda funny. He was all trying to be smooth w/ them but when me & steven walked by the stand he yells at the top of his lungs,"HEY! WHERE THE HELL YOU GOING?!?"

Steven: "Oh, my car is parked right there..."

Guy: "I don't give a shit if your car is parked right there. You punks have to go out that exit and walk down the damn street like everyone else." the exit is all the way at the other end of the carnival, of course.

Steven: "sorry..."

Guy: "Damn right..."(goes back to girls) "sorry 'bout that, ladies. Hey, btw, what are y'all doing tonight after the carnival?"

It's funny looking back but at the time as me & steven walked away I was so just like "you fucking carnie piece of shit." I couldn't believe that dick. I wanted to beat his ass.
Monday, April 18th, 2005
10:56 pm
Guess what flex day is, kiddies. 4-20.

Fuck the police! I'm going into work high as a kite.:)


On a second note, I think I screwed up again and I guess the actual act of screwing up happened more than a while ago. I hate my feelings and I hate my lack of foresight. I just hope it doesn't go totally downhill and I hope I can get a second chance and I hope I don't screw that up either. Senioritis sucks, too, btw. To all you juniors... you'll understand soon enough cuz it seems like time is flying by on a bullet train.

Current Mood: blah
Saturday, February 5th, 2005
1:05 pm

Amused to Death - Roger Waters

Doctor Doctor what is wrong with me
This supermarket life is getting long
What is the heart life of a colour TV
What is the shelf life of a teenage queen
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
News hound sniffs the air
When Jessica Hahn goes down
He latches on to that symbol
Of detachment
Attracted by the peeling away of feeling
The celebrity of the abused shell the belle
Ooh western woman
Ooh western girl
And the children of Melrose
Strut their stuff
Is absolute zero cool enough
And out in the valley warm and clean
The little ones sit by their TV screens
No thoughts to think
No tears to cry
All sucked dry
Down to the very last breath
Bartender what is wrong with me
Why am I so out of breath
The captain said excuse me ma'am
This species has amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
Amused itself to death
We watched the tragedy unfold
We did as we were told
We bought and sold
It was the greatest show on earth
But then it was over
We ohhed and aahed
We drove our racing cars
We ate our last few jars of caviar
And somewhere out there in the stars
A keen-eyed look-out
Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah
And when they found our shadows
Grouped around the TV sets
They ran down every lead
They repeated every test
They checked out all the data on their lists
And then the alien anthropologists
Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason
For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left
This species has amused itself to death
No tears to cry no feelings left
This species has amused itself to death

Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
12:29 am
Yesterday, I saw "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou". It was so freaking excellent. Wes Anderson (the director),Willem Defoe, & Bill Murray are great. It was so quirky and funny and not funny in the fart joke funny sense. It was just really witty, clever, and random at times. Enjoyable. I recomend it's viewing to everyone on here. Yes, it's actually worth the price of admission!!
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
8:11 pm
Today was sucky. I played some guitar (came up w/ a new song), did some exercise, and fell asleep.  Then, because I was so bored, I accompanied my dad to Wal-Mart to help do some grocery shopping.  Yeah, fun, I know.  If anyone knows of any parties going on New Years Eve let me know...PLEASE.  There's nothing to do in Franklin and I don't feel like spending New Year's Eve with my parents while they get drunk and stuff.
Tuesday, November 30th, 2004
7:23 pm

I know this is a lil' early but my net at home is down and I'm at the mall on my 15 right now so...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEREDITH SCOTT!!!

You're 17 now...WOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Friday, October 29th, 2004
12:25 pm
It's Friday and I'm chillin. We didn't have school yesterday so that was cool. I went to Target and Plato's closet and some other places and then I had work and it was all in all a pretty good day. I can't wait for this Saturday and Kevin Cox's Halloween Party. I'M GOING AS A PORN STAR!!

Yea...so that's it. <3
Sunday, October 24th, 2004
8:02 pm
Elegy for Bob Ross

Checked shirt, easy jeans, gleam
of his buckle under easel,
Bob's slouched at his canvas.
As always, he'll start with the top
and work down (but never so low
we'll see his feet, as Bob's in his socks).
For half-an-hour, he won't turn his back to us fully
–because– as he says, Painting
is not just for the chosen few
. Over his shoulder,
we see his fan-brush –four swift strokes–
shade out a mountain. This is something you can do,
he says. In ten minutes: foothills, the beginning of a forest.

How many trees? Bob wonders,
tapping his one-inch brush on his palette.
Nature doesn't like even numbers,
but put in as many trees
as it takes to make you happy
.
Trees need friends too.
As his hand floats over the canvas
his soft blender-brush barely touches,
Bob says, Reflection
is one of the most beautiful things in this world
and the simplest to do
; there's a rhythm
to glossing his placid lake: light,
like the whisk of a breath
on the skin of the paint.

In one of Bob's lymph-nodes, a tendril,
a complex acid, loops inside a cell, and grows,
and will not die, begins to gnaw.
Bob daubs his brow. Something bothers you?
Change it,
he hums, as he flecks some berries on a bush.
This is your world; you control it. See?
Maybe a little path lives right here, a happy little path.

Bob loads up his knife with dark sienna,
scrapes with its flat to lay down his path;
his strokes grow longer and broader
as they come towards him.

Then he touches in Indian yellow,
using so little pressure his path's wet paint
just breaks. There are no mistakes, says Bob,
only happy accidents,
and says it so sincerely,
I want to believe him.

Found it on this site: http://www.contemporarypoetry.com/brain/poetry/poems/elegy_for_bob_ross.htm

Thursday, October 21st, 2004
3:52 pm

The Reject:  Feel stupid, feel regret, feel ugly.

And just wondering... if u ever even notice.                          these dumb ironic words.

Gone too far, the possibilities have ended.  No reason to tell.  Accept the same old.  I gave it my shot forever & the chance is over. 

The feeling is invisible but your light glistens all the time.  The past was a waist of time.  Memories that never were come across like old home videos. If you could just remember it could be the greatest.  The little things mean everything don't they?  With the love, it's not so much, but that very little never even shows. I feel your pain, man, It may seem like I don't care anymore but I'm still the same behind the wall. Thanks.

 



Current Mood: dissapointed (?)
Saturday, September 25th, 2004
11:29 am

Everything looking brighter than it really is...



alone envy, bitterness, anger, worthless, despair, love, suffer, watch, death, you're nothing but hopeless tears & u paint a pretty picture

Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
5:16 pm
Creep - Radiohead (the way I feel)

When you were here before, couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control
I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice, when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here, ohhh ohhhh

She's running out again....
She's running out, she's run, run, run, run....run....

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here



Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
12:33 am
Well, today wasn't all that great for reasons im not gonna talk about. Just thought I'de get that out of the way. I went to the football game tonight. We lost but it was fun for the lil bit i was there (only wnet after half-time cuz then it's free). I really want to get a car soon and I hope I do somehow. I'm gonna sell a bunch fo shit and hopefully i'll get sum doh from that. Lol and to think I spent like 17 dollars 2day on a cd. It's really good though. Roger Waters "In the Flesh" 2 disks of live Pink Floyd featuring Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, & Wish You Were Here. It's quite amazing and I bought it used and half price which makes it even cooler.
Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
7:50 pm
Remembering...and laughing at things that have changed so much. everything and everyone. At one time, a smile was everything. Eyes were everything. Word were everything. Someone was everything...

Everything was beautiful. But everything was taken for granted. Now everything is just in my head...pictures from the past that haunt the present. They push so hard.

I miss so much...despite how empty I feel right now.



The good times will return. Happiness will come back to you. Keep hoping and 1 day you'll see em rolling down your driveway again........please.?.

Current Mood: nostalgia (yay?)
Monday, August 9th, 2004
12:15 pm
Me, Ralph, & Matt Scott are making a badass progressive alternrock band. Think of it as a mix between TSP, Floyd, Led, and Dream Theatre. It's gonna b tight. Right now, we're working on our 1st concept album. It's gonna be cool.
Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
12:17 am
Man...tonight was like I dunno one of those surreal bittersweet kinda nights I guess. Everyone was around the whole gang and all. My friend,Roger, whose like one of the first friends I had when I moved here way back in freshman year is moving to Miami tomorrow. We've had a lot of ups and downs over the years. There were times-alot actually-when we really pissed each other off and hated each other. We buried the hatchet for good though it seems like 2 months or so ago and the past week or so I guess I've just been forgetting all the bad and just remembering the good times you know? It kinda made me sad knowing that tonight will probably be the last night I'll hang out w/ him. We may meet again later on in life...who knows.

Wouldn't it be great if we could treat everyone like it was the last day we'de see them everyday of the week?
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
7:07 pm
I only got an hour of sleep last night and it shows. Gah this all just sucks so fucking much.

Current Mood: tired
Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
1:03 pm
Summer...
So far, its been pretty alright. I should be happy and all right? No school and stuff to worry about...yea. I should be happy. Yea, I just remembered why I stopped writing in LJ for a while. So yea I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead. Goodbye and have an awesome summer you crazy kids.



We're all pretenders...

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
10:11 pm
post a memory of me in the comments. it can be anything you want.
then post this to your journal and see what people remember of you.
7:36 pm
Slipping...
Feeling yourself die. The end is near at only the beginning. Why are things so fucking complicated? A friend of mine who will remain nameless wanted some sleeping pills today. He wanted them so he could finally leave this place and hopefully find some peace & content far from this chaotic mess we call existence. I couldn't let him do it tho. right now I feel the same things tho. I wanna go. I wanna leave. I can't take much more. Everything will be alrite? I dunno. I don't really think so. I couldn't let him get those pills tho. I don't want him to die even though it seems like sometimes death or nonexistence could be much better than this crap. Its fucked up. I really wish I had a time machine so I could go back to those few times that I was happy and just keep repeating them and repeating them maybe doing sumthin a lil different evrytime but it would be good you know? I wish things didn't change. I really wanted to believe that one day everything would be good. I dunno if I believe that anymore. Nothing will ever be the way it was before. What I had in the past is gone forever and I have to deal w/ that everyday and it kills me to watch it play out and insult me infront of my eyes. And I'm not saying that looking back I would have let my friend get those pills. I wouldn't. I'm just saying that I feel the same way. I'm just not gonna run away because I suppose there is about 1% of hope and I'll wait to see if that 1% ever happens. Its gonna be painful...I spose we'll all get through tho. And if I'm staying then so are you guys.
Friday, April 30th, 2004
9:31 pm
It's a Wonderful Life
Well, today I was sick as hell so I didn't go to school. Later on, I took a bunch of medicine all at one time and I'm pretty sure I got high of it. Awesome. I thought I was over my illness so I went to Steak & Shake w/ the whole gang. We saw a movie afterwards. After that I came home, and sat on the toilet. Within 10 minutes of me being here, my parents get in a fight and my stepmom throws a package of porkchops at some glasses that my dad was trying to clean. Well, the glasses break and a shard goes in my dad's eye. My stepmom goes off on how he deserved it and it was my fault cuz I left the glasses in the sink. Gee I'm sorry I was too busy puking & shitting myself all day to clean the dishes. Anyway, me dad is screaming cuz his eye and I'm trying to mediate the wholle thing from my seat on the porcelain God. After about 5 minutes, I just give up, do my business, and here I am bithcing about it to all you. Why? Cuz I'm really pissed off right now and I really need to vent. Now that I ahve some things off my shoulders, I'm gonna go take some aspirin and lay down. Think happy thoughts...think happy thoughts. Ignore my parents in the background. I'm happy. I'm happy. No anger.

Current Mood: sick
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